LUI TENCHAVEZ
This is your typical love story: where your great love calls you by name. Where we ask — who am I that you love me – where salvation, mercy, forgiveness are all synonymous to love?
As all great love story narrates, I was that girl. I was strong and independent, stubborn, and short-tempered. A polar opposite of things, I was never neither middle nor steady ground. Others may find me highly introverted or a people person. I could be sad but happy, Ioved but hurt, ok but not ok – a polar of emotions. I would always try to search for that common, middle ground.
Catholic upbringing
Born into a Roman Catholic family, I grew up from kindergarten to college in a Catholic school. My grandparents were part of a Catholic community, so I learned to live as a Catholic. I was taught wrong from right, how to pray, and sing songs. All these teaching, however, in the long run, would bore me, and I would question these practices.
In our community, Ang Ligaya ng Panginoon, we are taught how to be counterculture: to be in the world but not of the world. It was in those gray areas where I fell, and little did I know the world had consumed me.
My choices and its consequences
But my love story with God came at such a high cost. I thought others who do not follow the purer path never paid the price. And it was in this slight manipulation of the truth where I fell into deceiving myself. Instead, I fell in love with the world and what it had to offer.
The polar opposite in me created a much bigger gap in the process. I was in an endless state of confusion. In that split second of a moment where I would fill myself with the world, I thought I was delighted. Yet, as I immersed myself deeper into the world over and over again, I found it so empty and meaningless. Sometime after, I stopped desiring the world that I loved. It was the life I had chosen, and I suffered its consequences.
In my emptiness, in my darkness, and my numbness — my community, called me to mission work. My thrill-seeking self was ready to be re-energized. But the darkness that had filled the widened gap in my heart began to shake. An earthquake of low magnitudes started to break the darkness with my small yeses to this almighty Being. Every quake in my heart made space for light to come in. This is the time I fell into his embrace.
The u-turns
For every wrong decision I made, God built a u-turn. I ran around in circles for years. Over and over again, I would choose the wrong way. But over and over again, he would build a u-turn back to him. By his grace, I was able to start making the right choices. U-turns are no longer as frequently built as before. All God asks of me is to walk by His side.
In the beginning, when I had reached a rock, the Lord said, “Leave all that here and walk with me. Trust that I love you, and I will take care of all these things. But right now, I need you and only you to walk with me.”
Now my bag is packed, and I carry everything important to me. They are my family, friends, and loved ones, including myself and my job. God watches me and waits as I carry all these with me every step of the way.
There have been some walks when I am holding God’s hand tightly. At times, I am like a little kid exploring the surroundings. But knowing he is there provides me great comfort. His kind of love allows me to be myself freely, yet he guides me when I need it. His love is patient, faithful, and he has given up his life for me. Most of all, I am confident when I am walking by his side. I know he will turn all my crooked lines into straight ones.
By being covered and protected by my Lord’s love and surrendering to him, I have found myself again. His perfect love calls the unworthy like me to walk by his side as his child.
This is our typical love story with God. Whenever we want to do things alone, he waits in patience. He builds that u-turn over and over again so we can go back to him and depend on him. It is also a case of our unworthiness. We become worthy of his love only through his mercy and our faithful obedience to his plan for us.
Deeply moving, your reflections lead us to our reflections of our own lives in relation to our most loving Father.
Brilliant literary piece!
God loves you and so do I!
I’m so proud of Lui. I’m happy that she found the Lord in the u-turns of her life. God is awesome! The giants in our life are big but God is bigger than them.
A moving piece. Well-written. And I am so happy Lui finds her right place with her Creator in the many earthquakes in her lufe. That the quakes have finally subsided and she is now in the great embrace of the Almighty.
Oh wow, love this piece of work, Lui so happy for you. I am still going around in circles at this old age but deep in my heart I know that all I have to do is hold on to him so tight that sometimes I can’t breath. Thanks for sharing Betsy.
I love you Chimmy.
Great sharing of God’s faithfulness through all generations. Thanks Lui for your openness and honesty. And thanks to Betsy who’s always behind you .
Just as the Lord shows us where He is in this great literary piece, so we find ourselves in the swirl of ordinary things the world’s allure engulfs us! Thank you Lui for showing that salvation never leaves us but rather we forget it is always beside us for us to embrace. All that is needed is our simple acceptance of God’s mighty presence!
Thank you Lui, for this lovely piece.
Even in my old age, I find solace,
comfort and inspiration in your
calming words.
I wish you all the best in your
continuing journey as a missionary
for the Lord.
Thank you for sharing, Lui. Truly God is faithful, you just have to hold on to Him and He Will lead you to the right direction. Wishing you all the very best in your missionary work, and in all aspects of your life. God bless your trip to UK !