Loving Lessons from My Father

CELERY

A Legacy of Faith and Love

My daughter, Amanda, passed away on January 17, 2023—one year and seven months ago. Since then, I never touched her laptop, iPad, or mobile phones. Only recently, while using one of them for my husband Andy, did I stumble upon an article of hers—one that feels providentially meant for this month’s Pananagutan.

It spoke to me for two reasons.

First, because the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph—the first domestic church—has been very present in my mind and heart. As Christians, they remain our model. Our accountability to God is lived out in our accountability to one another: within the family, within the community, and within the larger Church. We are all connected as one body in Christ.

Second, because of Andy. He is now in the advanced stages of frontotemporal dementia and has suffered two silent strokes. That Amanda’s words would resurface at this very moment is nothing short of uncanny, a grace wrapped in mystery.

For Keeps 

On April 17, 2019, Amanda wrote “For Keeps” for White Butterfly, one of seven articles she contributed. I only discovered it after her passing. In it, she wrote about my legacy to her:

“My mother’s advocacy of spreading the Lord’s goodness to the very ends of the earth has not only rubbed off on me but made me truly believe in its importance. Her words, her advice, her teachings are definitely…‘for keeps.’ This is my mother’s legacy to me. As long as I live, what I learned from her will not perish.”

God First:  Amanda’s Enduring Gift

Yet Amanda herself left me a legacy I will never forget. The day before she died, she told me with great conviction:

“Mom, the problem with us is we put ourselves first and God second. Whereas it should be the other way around—God first and us second.”

Her words remain etched in my heart. They are her gift to me—her final reminder of what truly matters, her own legacy of faith.

AMANDA T. LISING +

“If you are a janitor, be the best janitor there is.”
My father, Andy, said these words to me just as I was entering high school. At that age, I understood them in a simple way, but now, as an adult, their meaning carries far greater weight. Back then, choices were smaller—limited to school or extracurricular activities. Now, the choices I make will shape my whole life.

I feel deeply blessed to come from a nurturing family, not just my father but all of them. They have supported my decisions at every turn, giving me the privilege to choose my battles and become who I want to be.

Looking back, I realize that my father’s words reflect something greater—what God Himself desires for me. For being a Christian means believing that God is Father, Mother, Brother, and Sister. He lives within us, and the best parts of who we are mirror what He wants us to be. When my father told me to “be the best janitor there is,” he was unknowingly echoing the heart of God.

There was a time when I felt lost and uncertain. I followed my instincts, only to find myself in more trouble. Human instincts, after all, often arise from our needs and can easily lead us astray. Later, I tried putting myself first—like the safety instruction on an airplane: save yourself before helping others. For a while, this seemed to work. I was happy, free, and doing as I pleased. But I soon realized that living only for myself was not the purpose for which I was created.

I asked myself: If I have so much love to give, how do I share it rightly? How do I know whom to prioritize? The answer, I discovered, was simple yet profound:

Love God with all your heart, mind, and soul. And in doing so, His love will naturally overflow to everyone else.

Now, as my father grows older, his body weaker and his memory less sharp, one thing remains unshaken—his heart. Even in his condition, he continues to give people a chance in life, just as he once gave me. Strikingly, he gives because he knows what it’s like not to have been given that chance himself. People I barely know still come up to me and ask, “How’s your father? How’s FVL? Ang bait nun—he was such a good man.” And truly, all he has done is reflect God’s light to those around him.

So if my calling is to be the best janitor there is, then I need not concern myself with being the wealthiest, the smartest, or the most powerful. My task is to be the best at what God has entrusted to me. For when I live that calling faithfully, everything else will flow—into my work, my relationships, and my life here on Earth.